Discernment Counseling

Are You Unsure Whether to Stay in Your Relationship or Leave?

Are you feeling stuck in your relationship, unsure whether to work on rebuilding or to walk away? Do you and your partner keep having the same conflicts without resolution? Has one of you already started pulling away, leaving the other feeling uncertain and lost? Deciding the future of a marriage or long-term relationship is one of the hardest decisions you’ll ever face.

If you and your partner are struggling to determine whether to stay together or separate, discernment counseling offers a structured, short-term approach to help you find clarity. It’s not about fixing the relationship right away or rushing to end things—it’s about understanding where you are, how you got here, and what the best next step might be for both of you.

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You’re Not Alone—Many Couples Face Relationship Uncertainty

It’s normal for relationships to go through rough patches, but sometimes those challenges lead to deeper uncertainty. Studies show that nearly 30% of couples considering divorce are mixed-agenda couples—meaning one partner is leaning toward leaving, while the other wants to stay and work on the relationship. This imbalance can create frustration, hurt, and confusion, making it difficult to have productive conversations about the future.

Many couples struggle with repeated conflicts, emotional distance, or unresolved pain, and without guidance, they may make decisions based on fear, guilt, or exhaustion rather than a clear understanding of their situation. Discernment counseling provides a neutral space to explore your concerns, understand your relationship dynamics, and gain perspective on your options before making a final decision.

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What to Expect from Discernment Counseling

Unlike traditional couples therapy, which focuses on improving the relationship, discernment counseling helps you and your partner clarify what path forward is best. It is a short-term process—typically lasting 1 to 5 sessions—designed specifically for couples where one or both partners are uncertain about staying in the relationship.

In our sessions, we will:

- Explore your current situation without pressure to fix or end the relationship immediately.

- Gain a deeper understanding of how your relationship reached this point.

- Identify what each partner has contributed to the relationship’s challenges.

- Clarify whether there is a willingness to work on the relationship through couples therapy or if separation is the best step.

- Help you develop a thoughtful, informed plan for moving forward—whether that’s committing to therapy, separating, or taking more time to decide.

Our approach draws from Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to help couples understand their emotional patterns, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to identify thought and behavior cycles, and Gottman Method principles to assess relationship dynamics. The goal of discernment counseling is not to push couples in one direction, but to provide clarity and understanding so they can make the best decision for themselves.

Common Concerns About Discernment Counseling

Discernment counseling acknowledges that partners may be in different emotional places. The process helps both partners explore their feelings and concerns in a way that respects each person’s perspective.
No—discernment counseling is not about working on the relationship itself but rather about helping you decide if you want to work on it. It’s a structured, short-term process focused on clarity rather than long-term relationship repair.
If separation is the best path, discernment counseling can help you make that decision with thoughtfulness and mutual understanding, rather than regret or resentment.

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Find Clarity for Your Future

If you’re feeling unsure about your relationship’s future, discernment counseling can help you gain clarity before making a life-changing decision. Whether you choose to work on your relationship or move forward separately, this process ensures that you are making the choice with confidence and understanding. Reach out today to schedule a consultation and take the next step toward clarity and resolution.